Intentions aren’t just for WESOS Meetings……from Denise

Recently, Jean and I decided to participate in a program from Mel Robbins called “Mindset Reset”.

I’m not really sure what I expected, but when your BFF/Business Partner says ” Hey, do you want to do this with me? I think it would be cool!”, you jump in and do it, right?

I jumped. And I’m really glad I did…but it has made me do things that I never took time for or wanted to confront before. And, make no mistake, this has been a slow but sure confrontation of the beliefs that have shaped my life.  We all have them in one form or another. The voices in the back of our head that say words like ” Should” and “Can’t” or even the dreaded ” But what would happen if…” .

Most of the people I know live their lives on auto pilot, to a certain degree. We do things because we’ve always done them that way. Or because we are “the responsible one in the family” or the ” pretty but not so smart” one.   We have identities that other people have helped us shape.  Even Jean and I do it!  We laugh and say ” Jean’s the Heart and Soul of WESOS and Denise is the Nuts and Bolts. ” It’s not because we want to pigeon hole each other into a specific role. It’s because we are good at that role!

But one of the things that happen over time is that we start to believe we are only the role we are good at.  We construct these convoluted stories in our mind that support the programming that we have that tells ourselves that we can’t be anything else, that we can’t move past our boundaries and that we can’t shake our predestined roles.

What does that have to do with Intention, you may ask.

I realized while on this Mindset Reset that I’ve been on auto pilot a little too much. OK, a whole LOT too much.  Even the way I spend my time or respond to problems or take on the “Good Daughter” role has been done without thought.  And I would be willing to bet that you do it, too.  You respond unconsciously because removing that pattern can be more painful than staying in it.  The voice in your head that tells you all of the negative stuff, or encourages you to react instead of being proactive, is a powerful entity. It lets your mind relax into patterns of behavior – even when they are bad for you.  Anyone who has started a new exercise program or tried to give up smoking can tell you that, even when the old patterns are deadly, it’s a whole lot of work to replace them with a new one.

I’ve chosen the word DELIBERATE to be the one I’m clinging to for the next year. Everything is going to be held up to that standard. Am I deliberately choosing this thought or activity or am I just coasting?   Am I living my life intentionally or am I getting comfy with the role that is easy for me?  After this Reset, I know that my thoughts and reactions are my own to choose and my own to change.  How you allow yourself to think is going to equal how you feel and how you craft a successful life/business. I’m going to encourage all of you to take a look at the roles that you are in and see where you can push them a little bit. How being intentional in your thoughts can impact the satisfaction you have with your relationships ( those pesky boundary things are hard for me and I know that they are hard for you , too!)  and your work.

So, yes, I inhabit the role of Nuts and Bolts for WESOS…but I’m also compassionate, loving and accessible.   Jean’s the Heart and Soul…but also an incredibly smart and capable woman who kept this organization moving forward for years.  We are going to be making decisions this year that will keep WESOS as the vibrant organization that welcomes all of us authentically because we both have made a commitment to stop listening to the old voices in our heads.  So don’t panic if I give you a hug at a meeting. You can be sure I’m doing it … deliberately.




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